Deep In My Own Head...
I was deep in my own head the other day. There's a lot that swirls around in there - a veritable storm most days not unlike a tornado that blows through and violently collects all things in its path, mixes them together and creates havoc.
There's the gamut of right brain emotions that get thrown into the funnel alongside my left brain's logic, both of which are stirred into the mix of my memories, my fears, doubts and feel-good hormones.
Then the winds pick up and the not-so-feel-good hormones have a grand entrance into the turbulence while the homeostasis side of my brain tries its best to be ring leader, bringing order and peace to the equation.
A Real and Present Message
Somewhere amidst the commotion I pick up on a very real and present message that is flung into the mix. It's just a wee "tic-tac" sized statement that, after rubbing shoulders with all the other elements of the tornado, masquerades as TRUTH.
But, is indeed an alive and real LIE.
It hangs there in the balance for a split second and then dares me to make a choice as to its credibility. In that moment of deciphering, my mind can turn into a deadly weapon.
When I am cognitively aware of my mind's sword-wielding, I am able to label it -- define it -- and deflect its blows to my psyche.
I call it LIE-ability: the responsible party (my mind) that has the innate ability to create and toss around lies and mask those lies as truth.
The mind is a funny thing. It whispers messages about us based on our current moods, emotions, stress levels, how we view the world around us, how we view US in that world.
Sometimes our minds know how to soothe us, pacify us, create homeostasis -- a sense of peace and order.
But most times, when mixed with the storm of emotions, feelings, insecurities and fears, our minds become our greatest LIEability. And we are forced to make a choice what we believe to be TRUTH.
The Struggle is Mine, Too
Because I am a fitness trainer, own a fitness business, greet my clients at the door with positivity and motivation, write inspirational fitness blogs, blah, blah, blah, perhaps you would believe that I don't have the same kinds of struggles that others do, or even that you do.
Trust me, I do.
Many times it is harder for me to recognize my own mind's LIEability ploys than those of my clients.
Wanna know my own brain's LIEabilities? Take a look at the self sabotage that goes on during my tornado storms ...
The LIEability: "What do you really have to offer anyone? You should just quit now while you're ahead" . Fueled by The Tired, Burned-Out Tornado
The LIEability: "You're no athlete, just a wanna be." Fueled by the Insecure Tornado and the Comparison to Others Tornado
The LIEability: "Discipline means perfection. If you aren't perfect, then you can't call yourself disciplined." Fueled by the Perfectionist Tornado
The LIEability: "You've tried and failed before. Maybe it's time to stop trying, otherwise you are a hypocrite." Fueled by the Fear of Failure Tornado and the Fear of What Others Might Think Tornado
The LIEability: "You just got lucky. It wasn't years and years of hard work and experience or actual skill that has brought about your success. In and of yourself, you're no expert." Fueled by the Disbelief in Self Tornado
The LIEability: "Hormones rule the day, you can't fight them so why try? You're not worth fighting for." Fueled by the Moody Hormone Tornado
The LIEability: "You have a genetic predisposition for weight gain with your short stature and your athletic build. There's nothing you can do to change this fact, so eat whatever you want because it doesn't matter anyway. Good thing big butts are in because otherwise you are just 'stocky' and that's not feminine enough." Fueled by the Fatalistic Mentality Tornado and the Living Up to Society's Standards Tornado
Oh, There's More...
Much, much more that goes on in the recesses of that mind of mine.
Not all of it is negative. But, it's the negative that I find I have to FIGHT on the daily. What do we do with these outright LIES that we, ourselves, have created?
Often times the LIES win because we put trust in them, believing they are truth, at least on some levels. If we buy into the LIE -- on ANY level -- we have given fuel to the fire of whatever tornado is causing the disingenuous belief system in the first place.
I Can Spot It
I can usually peg a client's belief in a full-blown lie about him/herself.
It's pretty obvious.
Maybe it is unbeknownst to them, but they move around life with the LIE as their belief system about the world around them and how they view themselves in that distorted world.
It saddens me.
This tendency to believe a lie about oneself is not in any way reserved for women only. Oh ... the men I work with have the same struggle.
Their struggle is sometimes a little harder to peg because they tend to hide behind their own machismo. Or, they don't allow themselves to be as vulnerable to me, a female trainer, as do my female clients.
The violent tornado winds inside the mind are no respecter of persons. I can't say that I'm always correct in my analysis of another's LIEability, but usually I'm somewhere in the ballpark.
Here are some of the things I see.
It breaks my heart to come to an understanding of how people view themselves ... especially when the view is through the lens of a full-blown LIE, drummed up inside that person's own mind, based on the torrent of life experiences that has that person turning a sword onto him/herself.
I'm unattractive. I don't have value.
I use exercise as a punishment because I have NO DISCIPLINE.
I don't deserve to love myself. I'm unloveable.
My entire family is overweight and so am I, so I don't believe I can be successful.
I'm a failure.
I never measure up to other people's standards, much less my own.
I was treated horribly as a child and don't deserve kindness.
I could never make lasting changes.
I should just quit because that's who I am -- a Quitter.
I'm fat. I was abused and deserve to carry shame the rest of my life.
No one has fought for me in the past. I don't even fight for me.
I'm not worth the fight.
The Negative Effect
These LIES are destructive.
They sabotage all the good things in life ---
...the potential accomplishments,
...the "caterpillar to beautiful butterfly" transformation potential
...the growth and development of self
...the acceptance and love of oneself
...the ability to allow others to give to you and also receive from you all the good ju-ju that comes from deep inside your own spirit.
I guess the key is to be able to recognize the LIES for what they are --- UNTRUTHS.
To NOT buy into them, not allow them to linger in our heads until we start leaning into them. And then --- defining the time/place/event/conversation that enabled our minds to come up with the untruth in the first place.
When did it occur to you that you were unloveable?
And when did you start believing that you weren't worth the fight?
Who said so?
Where did the negative thoughts begin?
And finally, when did you actually stop believing the truth about who you are and start looking at life through the lens of the LIE?
It's Never Too Late
It's not too late, you know. For me, for you, for anyone to reverse the self sabotage. I, you, don't have to be defined by the swirling tornado of lies in our own heads.
We can take those negative thoughts captive, bathe them every day in TRUTH and slowly begin to view the world and view ourselves in that world differently.
It takes guts.
It takes a bold belief that we were made for more. It takes courage of heart to dig deep into the recesses of the mind and dispel the negativity.
It takes insight and wisdom to deal with the memories, fears, doubts and all the other things that contribute to the swirling, turbulent winds that create a funnel of fury inside our heads.
Ahhh, but the calm after the storm --- there's nothing like it.
The view from the other side is breathtaking, freeing, beautiful. I can, you can have a brand new lease on life based simply on what we believe about ourselves.
Soaring over the wreckage of the storm, we can be free from it. No longer shackled by it. But first, we must trust that truth is truth and lies are, well, LIES.
Now .... soar, my friend. Fly like you've never flown before --- head held high, unwavering resolve.
Fly in the face of your mind's LIEability.
Bust open the seams and live out your TRUTH with all the courage and strength you can muster. Rise upward to great heights, leaving the muck and mire of negativity behind and ascend to the exalted level of authenticity and TRUTH of self.
You can do it. You deserve it, I promise!
And you're worth every ounce of energy it takes to live and breathe and demonstrate to the world the TRUTHS of who you are.
The WORLD is waiting for YOU to step up. It needs your unaltered lens of truth because then and only then are you FREE to grant that same freedom to another to accept his/her own foundational truths and annihilate the tornado of LIES.
Pick up your own sword. Go to war with your mind. Take captive the negative thoughts and rise up, Kings and Queens of your own veracity!