Bully on Your Back

Sssshhhh! Listen …. Do you hear that? Sounds like jeering. Where is it coming from? Sure feels up close and personal, but you look right, then left – just in case. There it is again. Sneering this time – laughing that “AT YOU” kind of laugh meant to make you feel small and powerless –…

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Lyrical Lingu: The Caliginous Night

The following lines are not my own, however, I have pulled together song lyrics and have juxtaposed them into my own, free-flowing thought process … my own interpretative verse. It is, in its entirety, lyrics borrowed from songs that have moved me deeply in relation to my own pain and internal struggles. Maybe you, too,…

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Why I Jumped…

It all began as I was sitting on that Spin bike … this time a participant instead of the instructor … I carry that proverbial weight on my shoulders and realize that my tank of inner angst has reached full capacity. Dark goes the room. Pitch black to match the pitch of blackness I am…

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Perspective Inversa

  Worth -Value-Beauty—- Nothing.  In you there is nothing but Waste.   You ruin Everything good … Nothing about you is Beautiful.   You are the embodiment of Mistakes   Your Mental, emotional, physical characteristics – Have no lasting impact.   Each day  you should disregard your Value.   Shame and regret Overwhelming you … Embrace the Hopelessness, doubts, fears…

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Bird Set Free

We all have a story to tell. There’s hurt and pain in all our camps and somewhere along the line that pile of ash in our hearts can make or break us. My story probably isn’t much different than yours. Perhaps the actual events are different, but that pile of ash is still swept up…

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50 Things I’ve Learned in my Half Century of Life

Half a Century!  Well, when you put it that way it seems SOOOOOOO, ummm, O*L*D. Ahhh, but some time ago I refused to use 2 words simultaneously — “OLD” and “AGE”, so let’s re-phrase, shall we? How about this:  Half a Century = 50 years YOUNG = Seasoned = Wise = Experienced = Slightly Tired = Occasionally Rickety = Finally Uninterested in what others think about me = Intolerant of Bullsh*t = Fabulously Free to…

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Diary of a Mad, Menopausal Woman

Just yesterday I was “normal”, whatever that means.  But truly, I was.  I am sure of it, I think.  I mean … it feels like it was just yesterday, right?  C’mon foggy brain, you can do this.  You can remember.  Perhaps “normal” is or was or should be overrated anyway.  Does it even matter?  YES!…

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LIEability

Deep In My Own Head… I was deep in my own head the other day.  There’s a lot that swirls around in there – a veritable storm most days not unlike a tornado that blows through and violently collects all things in its path, mixes them together and creates havoc. There’s the gamut of right…

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Where Did the Follow Through Go?

I’m not a RESOLUTIONS kinda person — even more so having been in the fitness industry for over 20 years now. At the end of every year and at the beginning of the next, I witness the same thing.  Rarely has the pattern changed among the masses.  Only a few people have come along the…

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With Love, Merrell

I walk into the store wearing my favorite kind of shoes. I’m not even sure I can actually call them “shoes.”  Ode to the flip flop…a foot adornment whose name is an onomatopoeia. Flip.  Flop.  Flippity.  Flop.  Flop.  Flop.   My pink toenails are in full view as well as the sparkly, Swarovski crystal anklet.…

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